Wednesday, June 1, 2011

PYHO: Moms vs Dads

Last night, Dave took the kids to Wal-Mart and McDonalds. A good, relatively easy Daddy date. I was working (HARD) and I got a text about 7:00. It said "Taking two kids to wal-mart and mcdonalds is too much for me. I have a headache."

I burst out laughing. I assumed he was being funny.

He wasn't.

He really was at his wit's end. When I got home, he was laying on the couch, looking like he'd been hit by a truck.

Again I laughed. We have a good natured marriage, so it's perfectly fine for me to get a little chuckle out of his desperation. (And to all the Undercoffers reading this...this just proves that I am not the only dramatic person in this marriage! hehe ;))

He told me he can't do it again. He said that it was too hectic, he forgot the diaper bag in the car, the kids were crying, Wal-Mart was busy...etc etc etc.

I laughed because I do it every day. I run all my errands with both kids in tow. THEN I take them to work with me for two hours until he gets home. He is in charge from 4:30 until 7:30 Monday thru Thursday. And Dave is a GREAT dad. He knows what and when to feed the kids, how to do baths, how/what to take swimming, all the important stuff. But he gets so flustered!

Is that the difference between Moms and Dads?

I am slower to get flustered because I just have to do it? If the roles were reversed, would our reactions be reversed? Since the day Rory was born, I've been full time mom, full time business owner. My job is hard. Being a mom at the same time has made it even harder. I look at it like this: if I let a little frustration at all the steps it takes to get to Wal-Mart deter me, I'd never get out of the house. We just get up and do it every day because it must be done. If I don't load up the kids and go grocery shopping, we'd never have food in the house.

I am thankful every day that Dave is the type of Dad who jumps in and takes care of the kids while I work. I know it's not his favorite thing in the world and he would definitely rather be golfing. We have gone rounds about the fact that weekends are for family, not for golfing every Saturday and/or Sunday. To me, the more time we spend together, the better. I've had to come to terms with the fact that Dave craves time to himself. (Perhaps as a result of having very little alone time with five brothers and sisters?) It's a balancing act, much like getting two kids to Wal-Mart and fed is a balancing act. It's a learning process and one that will never actually be over. Running a family will never be smooth.

Smooth rides are boring. Bring on the bumps.


Kim said...

What a great post! I've found that life is so much more HECTIC with two. With one our household was so much mor calm. Getting two ready is work. Your husband sounds like a good guy. I think you are right, moms have an "ownership" gene that allows them to do it with more ease.

Shell said...

Oh, this had me laughing! Because my husband is all dramatic about how hard it is to do these things with the boys... that I do all the time.

His latest is how hard it will be to work from home this summer while he's recovering from knee surgery. I fell off the couch laughing. I laughed until I cried b/c I do that every day!

Laura said...

Oh! Trust me! We KNOW that Dave is dramatic hahaha. We KNOW!!

Mike is a great dad who does it all. Without ever complaining. I don't know how I lucked out. Or perhaps it is because he is home so much during the winter that he is just used to doing it like I am. Maybe that's the trick. :)

Stacy said...

I deal with the same thing, its very rare that Hubby takes our daughter in public alone because, well she is busy...she's 4 and she refuses to get in carts and just runs wild in stores. I get frustrated but I deal with it because 99% of the time, she is with me....Hubby gets really frustrated when the three of us are out and she's acting up, I can only imagine him ALONE with her in a store!

Meghan said...

Awesome post! I often wonder if my husband will be the same way, as right now, he is the "calm" one of the marriage!

JDaniel4's Mom said...

My husband took JDaniel to the store only once. It just about put him over the edge.

Unknown said...

Haha! My husband refuses to go to the store with my kids. I think there is a huge difference between moms and dads. We each have our roles. Sometimes we work together, and sometimes we both have things we do best alone. Some things are for moms only. multi tasking at WM would certainly be one of them!