I'm a mess. My house is clean but I am a mess. The laundry is caught up, well as caught up as it ever can be, but I'm still a mess.
I sliced my hand wide open on a piece of glass yesterday. I was cleaning up the back deck, getting things out of spring. A piece of glass went right up in to my palm. It was, like something out of a movie, a blood geyser. Thankfully, my 11 year old cousin was over playing with R and T. Half a roll of paper towels later, a last minute doctors visit (did you know Tetanus shots are good for 10 years? They are!) and a lot of bruising later...I have one heck of a sore hand.
And also a strict warning about my blood pressure from my doctor.
I'm 27 years old and my blood pressure was high yesterday.
My doctor, a longtime family friend, said I need to learn to take breaks, take time for myself and relax. I need to cut some stress out. I need to rest more, work less.
Does this man know me? I'm not good at that. I'm a mess remember? I'm constantly running in 92 directions at once, with a to-do list a mile long. I have clinical depression, anxiety and problems sleeping. I'm overweight, I'm overworked and I'm a mom of 2 toddlers. I am a mess.
I'm doing the best with the mess that I am. I'm eating healthier and exercising regularly. I'm taking my medicine on schedule and journaling. I'm growing in my Faith. I'm taking time each day to do conscious, purposeful mom-school with the kids. I'm chipping away at my to-do list. I'm trying. I'm still a mess and I probably always will be. And that just has to be okay.
Side note. My uncle passed away on Monday afternoon. He was a wonderful husband, father, uncle, teacher and humanitarian. Thank you for all the thoughts and prayers. He will be missed!