Today on Facebook, my friend Julie shared a hilarious article from the Huffington Post written by Jenny Isenman. It's called "Moms of Boys are Jealous Shrews, so Here's a Contract for Dating Your Son." (linked! Read it! :)) This article was not only well written, but it made me laugh out loud a few times.
Because you see...Rory may be Daddy's Little Girl and Dave already has issues thinking about her dating...I'm even more concerned about Trace. He's got so much going on...my only son AND my baby. I mean come on. So I've put together my own little list of requirements, inspired by Isenman's article, today.
In order to become the future Mrs. Trace Undercoffer, a woman must...
1. Know how to cook. My son loves to eat. She should be especially well versed in chicken nuggets, hot dogs, carrots and ranch dressing. She should also have an affinity for McDonald's Apple Dippers and Capri Sun juice boxes.
2. Be prepared to clean up the same messes over and over. Boys and their toys, am I right?
3. Be satisfied with Trace needing to change his clothes 2-3 times a day. I'm anticipating his desire to get as dirty as possible won't be something he grows out of...since Dave still comes home filthy daily.
4. Have a curious taste in movies. Particularly ones starring famous puppets with lots of song and dance numbers.
5. Enjoy dancing. Mainly bobbing up and down in the same spot with complete disregard for timing or rhythm in the music. A large, goofy grin is also required.
6. Not mind my precious son stealing food off your plate. At every meal. Without fail. Swiper no swiping.
7. Like to share her bed...not just with my son, but with Baby (a green fluffy blanket) and 12 assorted stuffed animals. Considering he totes these buddies everywhere, I predict someday he'll be in a "woman or my stuffies" moment. Sigh.
8. Have no problem with bare feet. And men not wearing pants. Or shirts. Because Mr. T is a streaker already.
9. Enjoy a good mid-day nap. Because let's face it, Trace gets a little punchy when he doesn't get a solid 2 hours. She should also like bed time stories, sleeping with a night light and lullabies.
10. Be head over heels in love with my son. Other mamas may think their sons are the best, but at the end ot the day...no one cuddles like Trace. No one else has that soft downy blonde hair, big green grey eyes, a crinkly nose smile and a laugh like a little bear. No one else loves his puppy as much as Trace. No one else is as one in a million as my sweet son. So get to work girls. This one's hard to catch.