Let's get honest, Moms.

You know what drives me nuts?
Pinterest moms.

I can't take it anymore.

You know exactly the type of moms I mean. The one who's kids are always dressed perfectly, never have a dirty face or sticky hands and manage to keep both shoes on for an entire grocery store trip. These moms have Martha Stewart houses, dinner on the table at 5:30 every night and still manage a 5 mile run each day. The teacher gifts they deliver? Handmade and adorable. The snacks for pre school? Homemade and incorporate at least 4 of the food groups. (And by that I mean the real food groups, not the ones in this house...fruit, cheese, carrots, pizza and sprinkles.)

I'm seriously going to lose it if I see one more peppy pin on Pinterest or Facebook status.

Today, my 3 year old daughter alphabitized her picture books and then taught herself Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star in Latin. My 2  year old son shot 10 consecutive three point-ers in the driveway and tied his own Nikes. During their naps, I managed to make fifteen apple pies for the church bake sale, crafted three wreathes and scrapbooked all the pictures from our dear puppy's first year of life. Tee hee! How did we get all this done and still have time for a trip to the local all organic, farm fresh, gluten free, sugar free, all natural ice cream stand? Giggle giggle smile smile.

Oh yeah?

Well. My 3 year old daughter had a giant meltdown at the dance studio today and spit all over the mirrors. Then she came home, ate a 1/4 pound of turkey and some pasta salad, which she insisted be heated up, drank what seemed liked a gallon of juice and water and promptly passed out for a nap. At the same time, my almost 2 year old son succeeded in taking off his diaper FOUR separate times within one episode of Jake and the Neverland Pirates, ate the tip off a black marker and now looks like a hobo with no teeth and spilled Diet Coke all over the kitchen floor. During their naps, I watched Dances Moms and trolled Facebook.

I'm NORMAL. NORMAL. We do colors, we do shapes. We do letters. We dig in the dirt, we play games, we play pretend. My kids have tons of experiental learning moments. They are clean for at least 20 minutes after each bath. They are fed, as best as I can get them to eat. They try new things. They color pictures, they make projects and they are learning to swim. They laugh a lot. They know to say prayers before bed and before meals. They are, in general, pretty well behaved. They know about consequences to their actions...(actually, they kinda taught each other that. Like this morning, when Rory stole the iPad from Trace and he tried to gnaw her leg off...action and consequence.)

Here's what I don't understand.

What am I doing wrong that my life doesn't match the Pinterest moms I see all over the place? How is my schedule that different? I run a business from my home and I work every evening but still. I should be able to keep up. I should be able to have a nice, well kept house and better behaved children.

Or at least that's what everyone tells me...

Well I'm calling bullsh*t on that.

I wake up every morning and I purpose to be the best mom I can be. I am aware that there will be moments through out the day that I am not a stellar mom. I will fail each day, sometimes big and sometimes small. I will overreact, unfortunately, at times. I am human. I will choose to play cars with Trace over dusting the furniture. I will let Rory be Doc McStuffins to me for a 9th time before I will ever unload the dishwasher. That's the kind of mom I am.

But I am also the kind of mom who sacrifices things I want to give my kids experiences. I am the type of mom who lays squished in between a three year old daughter and 15 stuffed animals in a tiny twin bed until the 3 year old's fever breaks so she'll feel safe. I read an extra book before nap. I'm human.

I am not and I will never be the mom who has a perfect house. I am not a Pinterest mom. I am a real mom. And I refuse to feel guilty about it anymore.