Friday, April 5, 2013

Dating a Divo...

Please take this post with a grain of salt. It is meant to be tongue and cheek, a satire, certainly not a generalization. Enjoy!

Dave does not have a musical bone in his body. He can't even tap the steering wheel in time to the radio, let alone dance. He does give some hilarious renditions of kids songs to R and T before bed and can slow dance at a wedding reception like a boss...and if he's drunk enough, he'll do a mean Thriller. Other than that? He's a dance fan, will watch any Broadway musical with me and enjoys GOOD music.

He is exactly what I was looking for in a husband.

I've dated a ton of musically inclined men. Some lasted more than one date, most didn't, only a few made it in to more than a casual thing...

Here's the thing.

I think Pitch Perfect  is perfection. It cheers me up no matter how crappy the day. I listen to the soundtrack nonstep...even Rory loves it. She'll belt out Party in the USA or the "DUH DUH DUH DUH" song (Just the Way You Are) It's a great story, funny, touching, just plain lovely.

But it totally romanticizes dating a DIVO. I mean honestly.

 I was a theatre major in college. I knew my fair share of straight Divos.

What's a Divo? 

Divo: adj: a straight man with a flair for musical theatre and/or 80's/girls/early 90's boy band music. Usually well dressed, laughs at his own jokes and undeniably adorable. Do not be fooled by his shiny exterior. May ultimately spend more time looking in a mirror than you do. Will never be without chapstick though. That's a plus.

Divo is necessarily a bad thing. If you can handle that, than hey more power to you. Your BF will always be well groomed, sharply dressed and ready to serenade you at the drop of a hat. He will do the whole staring at you with tears in his eyes from the audience the way the hot dude in Pitch Perfect does. He will also try and one up you in any type of singing competition available, even drunk karaoke at the local dive bar on a Tuesday night. Some girls find that constant strive to win your affection attractive.

I find it more apropos for a fun fling, a date or two...but not a husband. Shudder.

I can't really imagine rolling over in the morning and hearing someone with dragon breath singing in my face "Good Morning beautiful how was your night...?"

Umm...unless you ARE Keith Urban, keep all musical shout outs until I've at least had some freaking coffee.

Tossing my hair back after a shower before I comb it..."She's a maniac MANIAC ON THE DANCE FLOOOOORRRR."

Me: I'm not feeling well, I think I have a fever.

You think I'm kidding? I've lived it, babe. I've been there. And I, a giant musical theatre nut job with an affinity for finding gay men to be my BFFs can't stand it.

I much prefer my sports fanatic, grounds keeper, slightly lumber jack-ish man who can't carry a tune in a bucket but claps the loudest every time someone in my studio does a back handspring on stage.

Thanks, Grave. xo

1 comment:

Melissa said...

Haha! Love this post! DIVO - is that the same thing as metro? The pastor at my old church is like that... very very well-dressed, I mean. Not a big musical freak. Ok, so maybe not the same thing! :)

I married a musician, but he's definitely NOT that. And he doesn't sing. But he will go see and enjoy plays or musicals with me, so that's good!

Yeah... i know the type you mean! Most guys at our theater are gay - but many of the straight ones sound like you describe here! Not all! But many! :)