Wednesday, October 24, 2012


I need to vent. I need to write without editing myself. I'm not looking for sympathy or a pity party, I just need an outlet. Here goes.

Rory hates dance class. Refuses to go. Hates every second of it. Yet...if you spend any time with her, all she does is dance and sing. She tells me daily that she wants to throw her tap shoes away, she won't be in the dance recital and she doesn't every want to go to the studio again. Talk about breaking my heart. I try to remind myself that she's only 3 and next year could be a totally different story but devastates me that she won't be in this year's recital. Shot through the heart.

One of my longtime dancers switched to the other studio this week. I found out via instagram. Honestly, I never really knew she quit my studio and then bam she's at another studio and posting all over the place how much happier she is and how much better life is, how she should have done it 3 years ago. Ouch. I didn't even know this girl was unhappy, let alone so miserable she needed to switch studios. High school girls are a mystery. But still. Ouch.

My aunt was deployed 6 weeks ago. I hate this part of our lives. We've never been a deployment family before. My uncle and their 2 sons are in Texas. They are too far away. I want to take the boys to do fun things, help them get through this long year. I can't even imagine what it's like for people who have a child or spouse deployed. God bless our military.

On that same note...Democrats. Please stop saying that Obama ended the war. Clearly it's not over. If it was, my aunt wouldn't have been sent to the middle east. Just saying.

Everything about me is exhausted. Dave told me last night I've been edgy and cranky all week. Well. Yes, I have. I'm worn out. I'm running a business, a household, mothering 2 kids, running a huge fundraiser at work, choreographing 45 recital dances and 32 competition routines, ordering over 1000 costumes and 500 pairs of tights, managing a competitive dance team, teaching 30 hours a week...just to scratch the surface. I'm burned out and I need a break.

I just need a minute.


Laura said...

Let's ditch it all and go on a girl vacation! I could totally use one of those!!

EmilyAnne said...

I've had dance students leave too. And it HURTS! And it's especially hard because it makes you wonder what you did wrong as a teacher that made them leave!

You are dealing with A LOT of stuff! And after reading through other entries in your blog, you are one of those people that I look at and say, "How in the world is she still standing?"

I know you already know this, but just remember that God is ALWAYS good, regardless of our circumstances. Keep asking Him to give you strength to PUSH through all of this!

I very much enjoy following your blog :))