I had an interesting conversation yesterday with Lynsey from over at The Moore Family Blog http://lynseyandbrian.blogspot.com. She mentioned how she was not looking forward to her husband having three softball games this week, all in the evening and smack in the middle of bed and bath time.
Oh sister. I can relate.
Dave golfs. A lot. He doesn't think it's enough (weirdo ;)) but it's a lot. This weekend he has an all day tournament 2 hours away on Friday and another one all afternoon on Sunday. Two tournaments in one weekend is rare, but typically it's at least 3 rounds a week. Golf is Dave's thing. I know and I understand that he needs that outlet. He has a really tough job and golf is his time to relax. It's how he regroups. I get that, it's important and I am supportive 99% of the time. Ask him, he'll tell you. Never ONCE in 5 years of marriage has he wanted to golf on a certain day and I've said "no way" unless I was working or we had somewhere else to be. Not. Once. (I give myself a pat on the back for that one! ;)) I really take pride in the fact that I notice when Dave needs a break, had a hard day at work or just needs some down time. I encourage him to go golfing on nights when we aren't doing anything. I do my best to make sure he gets enough time to himself. I understand and I do my best.
It gets downright exhauting though to be working full time (I do own a business, remember), stay at home full time and then have to do bed time and bath time all on my own. Sometimes I look at the long day ahead of me and it's like a mountain I have to climb. It's really hard sometimes. REALLY HARD. I have two incredibly busy and active toddlers who don't sit still all day long. For example, as I type this, they are making a marching band and going all over the house yelling and screaming "music" at the top of their lungs. Our days are non-stop. Cleaning, cooking, normal mom stuff PLUS all the pressures of owning a (thankfully) thriving business are...just a lot. I look forward to Dave coming home and having another set of hands for diapers and snacks and maybe the opportunity to get a bank deposit put together without Trace scibbling all over checks. Hey I may even get to return phone calls.
I could really go for some mom time of my own. Ocassionally, I do go for lunch and pedicures with my long time best friend, Brittany. Sometimes I'll take an afternoon and go shopping by myself, but usually I get a babysitter for those days.
Here's what I'm doing. I'm committing to spending a minimum of two afternoons/evenings a month for just myself. Just. Kate. No kids, no husband. I'll put my phone on silent and do what I want. Go shopping, go to the spa, go to the movies...whatever strikes my fancy. I'll drive to the closest Starbucks and do work if that's what I want to do. (Yes, that's enjoyable to me! :)) I need to take time to myself and make myself happy, instead of always focusing on making everyone else happy. It's not selfish, it's necessary.