Hi. Remember when I used to faithfully blog? At least four times a week?
Welcome to my real life.
This season in my life is stressful. I've really been doing pretty darn bad lately. Time to be honest.
Trace has been sick with one tiny thing after another all fall. Colds, allergies, pink eye and now as of yesterday a sinus infection. Nothing major, just tiny bumps in the road of life BUT. When he is barely 2...it's rough. Lack of sleep, weird schedules and so many Dr. appointments. Yuck.
Rory had the whole hairball saga of 2012. Thank God, it turned out to be nothing but a small infection but still. It was brutal. It did a number on my emotional health. Lately she's really ben embracing her three year old attitude. (Ahem) Almost every school morning, she gets in a fight with me about something...clothes, shoes, coat, backpack. This morning she refused to wear her coat. So I said fine. Go out to the car without it on and see how it feels.
Needless to say, it was 41 degrees this morning. She put her coat on before she even made it off the porch. Mom: 1 Rory: 0. She's gotta learn and I figured a little "experiential learning" would do wonderes in this case.
I'm in the middle of ordering $16,000 worth of costumes and another $2000 of tights. To say it is intimidating is an understatment. It's the worst part of my job. Add in a student choreography concert, a visit from Brooke, Paige and Kelly Hyland from Dance Moms on Sunday, competition rehearsals, Saturday morning acro, the holidays...
Man it's been tough.
That's the thing about depression. All these little things pile up in my mind and I can not shut it off. Anxiety takes over some days. I'll be able to do nothing but lay in bed for a while. Some coffee,, some light tv (Duck Dynasty anyone?? :)) and a nap. Deep breaths. Prayer. Music. Comfy sweats. Time to myself...
Anxiety and depression never just go away when it is a legitimate chemical imbalance. They come in waves, highs and lows. I know that this season in my life is a low and that's okay. I'm working on turning this in to a high. I'll get there. I'll swing back up. I'll recoup. But not today.
And that is okay.